Houston, we have a hand.

I was chillin at Krisha's today (who is now officially 8 weeks pregnant yay) and I felt an actual hand jabbing my belly! I really think it was a hand but who knows, it could have been a foot or if he was really excited it could have been........well, I shouldn't talk about my son that way haha. It felt so cool and it was a nice reminder that I am pregnant. I know I'm 6 months but sometimes it still doesn't feel 'real' except for when I have one of those 'moments' like the first ultrasound where we saw him kicking and moving around, when I first felt him move, and now when I held his hand for a quick, yet important, moment. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be in love with Ethan yet or if I am supposed to be fully maternal at this point, but I know that how I feel is how I feel, regardless if it is right or wrong. I am afraid that I won't have an instant bond with Ethan when I first hold him and I am prepared (I think) to handle my emotions if I don't feel that instant connection. Everyone tells me that the mother/child bond is an unique experience for everyone and there is no 'normal' but I still want to feel immense love the moment I hold Ethan in my arms. I should really start talking to him because at this point, his ears are fully developed and he is listening to everything that goes on in my life. Note to self: stop swearing so damn much.