Sunday, December 12, 2010
So Sorry
I'm in a pissy mood. I don't have any clothes except one pair of not so trendy mom jeans. I don't have any shoes. I'm fat and my knee hurts like hell when I try to workout (that goes back to the shoes thing, no tennis shoes). My roots are two inches long and speckled with hideous course gray hairs. My hair straightener broke so I've has frizzy ponytails for a week. My toes are so bad. There is more nail showing than polish. Zoey just farted right next to me and I can taste it. My eyebrows need to be trimmed with hedge clippers. I'm breaking out like a fourteen year old boy. I think that is it for right now. Just let me feel sorry for myself right now. I'll get over it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
To my mother: Yes I know I can dye my own hair and paint my own nails BUT.....my hair looks awful when I do it myself AND I can paint my toes but I don't have the time and when I do have time that is the last thing I want to do. And I'm still fat so I can still complain about that one! I beep when I back up. When I go to the movies I sit next to everyone. Someone said it was chilly outside and I grabbed my bowl and said 'chili, where?'. I thought we lost the remote but it was in my back fat. The Chinese buffets sent me a Christmas card cause they know me so well. Couldnt' find Parker but he was hiding under my love handle.
ReplyDelete-emily
And fat people run around you for exercise. And your BMI is measured in acres. I read the same jokes as you did, hehehe!
ReplyDeleteDid you just call me fat, mom? We are not speaking anymore.
ReplyDeleteNOOOOOOOO!
ReplyDeleteYou got the presents I sent, right?
ReplyDeleteyes! thanks libby
ReplyDeleteby the way, i know you didnt call me fat mom, i was just kidding with you! just so you know.....love ya mkay
ReplyDelete