06/16/2011

It is just now hitting me that major changes are coming our way.  Even if we don't relocate, I still will be starting a new job and that is stressful and scary enough!  I got a phone call for an interview for a middle school music position in Andover, MA (about 2 hr 45 min from Waterville) and the reality of the situation hit me so hard.  My chest is so tight right now.  I am having to force myself to breathe.......OMG I can't believe that we could really be doing this.  Is Andover too far?  Will we like the area?  Where will we live?  I can't bear the thought of being in an apartment without Parker and Zoey!  I can't live without them!  We have to rent because we can't sell our home.........how long will we be in a rental?  What if I get a job and Jeremy doesn't?  What if he gets a job and I don't?  Do we have enough money in savings?  What about forwarding mail?  I hate changing addresses!  Maybe we should stay here another year and save some more money.  But if we dont' leave now, will we ever?  Will Ethan ever know his family?  What if we have to move somewhere without a washer and dryer in the house?  UGH talk about olden times!  I need to relax.  Ethan is sleeping peacefully and I think I will do the same.  Just kidding, I know I will have all kinds of crazy dreams tonight.